Totally About Comics.

Let me start out with describing a weekly routine I share with my good friend/doppleganger Epyon Avenger.

Every Wednesday is New Comic Day here in North America. Because of this, Avenger and I go to our local (kinda) comic shop. Which shop, you ask? Why, that would be Illusive Comics and Games. Click the link and you will realize why we go there instead of anywhere else. To put it simply – they’re great people with a great store and they know what they’re doing.

After sharing a delicious meal with his family, we go there in the evening to say hello to the people hanging out/working and buy our comics that are in our subscriber box. Yes, subscriber box. For those of you who aren’t super geeks but seem to like me enough to read this shit anyway, I’ll explain it quickly:
Every Wednesday, new comics come out. Let’s say you really like “The Amazing Spider-Man.” You buy every new issue. How about instead of searching for it yourself every week, your friendly neighborhood comic shop (HA! See what I did there?!) puts new issues of “The Amazing Spider-Man” in a spot just for you whenever it comes in?  Not only would you save yourself the time looking for it, but it won’t be sold out since you’re guaranteed a copy because they know to order you one! That’d be totally sweet, right? Well go shit yourselves, cuz that’s what pretty much every comic shop does. Some people subscribe to just a handful of comics. Some people literally subscribe to “ALL MARVEL.” These people make Anna, the owner of Illusive, very happy. I digress.

SO. Comic shop. Wednesday. There we are. What happens after, you ask? The answer is simple:

Slurpee Time.

Why? Because they’re cold, delicious, and fucking CHEAP. And associated with geeks. After all, The Patron Saint of Frozen Treats is a comic book writer. That’s Geoff Johns. If you have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, follow Geoff Johns on Twitter. He goes by GeoffJohns0. For those of you that don’t have Twitter, fine. Click here and you will be directed to his page. Not only does he love him some Green Lantern and some Flash, the man is obsessed with Slurpees. I’m not actually joking. He lives so close to a 7-11, he can see and hear the garbage truck when they empty the dumpster. On June 11th (7/11 – the day you can get a 7.11 ounce Slurpee for free), he and some friends had planned to visit as many stores as possible, but after one friend ratted them out to a cashier and another friend barfed, I think he only visited five. Anyway. I’m only telling you these things to make myself feel like I’m somehow relating this blog to comics, and also because it’s fucking hilarious. Geoff Johns is The Patron Saint of Frozen Treats because he buys his neighbors ice cream from the ice cream truck when their mom isn’t home, and they have this whole system set up so she won’t find out, cuz she told the kids when the truck plays music it means they’re OUT of ice cream. How fucked up is that?! Anyway. Just read it. It’s gold.

So. Slurpee Time. Obvious reasons why, really. So that’s what we do. Consume delicious free dinner, buy comics, buy Slurpee, go read comics/play video games/do whatever the fuck we want cuz we’re fucking awesome. Now that that’s all out of the way, I can begin my original thoughts that started this entry in the first place.

There I was, on my way to Epyon Avenger’s house, when I realized I had a craving for a tasty, slightly-carbonated beverage. Not just any would do. It was Slurpee Time. So we got into the car, drove to a particular 7-11, and purchased the aforementioned treat – and Twix. Cuz they rock. Some people might ask, “Why did you drive out of our way for something you can get at the 7-11 down the street?” Well, those people are morons. Because everyone knows that no 7-11 has the same Slurpee flavors. It’s a treat to go to a 7-11 in someone else’s neighborhood and think, “HOLY SHIT BANANA!!!” or “THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE COCA-COLA!!! BRILLIANT!!!” For the record, I do like Coca-Cola as a Slurpee, and not as an actual soft drink. Just putting it out there. Anyhoo. Most of the time, the stores in the area all have different flavors, and some stores are known for the quality of the Slurpee they’re putting out. I like it when I go to a 7-11 and they have all the crazy limited edition flavors for the movies that are coming out. This brings me to my favorite flavor, and the reason we traveled down Capitol Expressway…

Liquid Artillery.

Liquid Fucking Artillery is a limited edition flavor that came out to promote the new G.I. Don’tKnowWhyIWouldWatchThisBullshit. It has a vibrant blue color that stains your tongue – so you know it’s good. You don’t see Pina Colada staining your tongue, do you? No. Cuz it sucks. Liquid Artillery is advertised as “Strawberry * Pineapple * Lime.” I guess that’s what it is… but I dunno it’s just delicious. A little too tart to have all by itself, but who gets only one Slurpee flavor? I mix it with Cherry and holyfukk it’s good… BUT! I know that all good things come to an end. I know that one day in the very near future, Liquid Artillery will be replaced by something else to promote another movie coming out.

Oh, God, I hope they don’t come out with a flavor for New Moon…
UGH!! WHY WOULD I THINK BAD THINGS LIKE THAT?!

So anyway. I was just thinking. Has there ever been a limited edition flavor that was so well-received they kept it forever? Or just changed the name? Why can’t they keep my favorite flavor, dammit?! Pisses me off.

Comment this post and let me know YOUR favorite Slurpee flavor
or combination of flavors!