The Batgirl Situation

Okay, let’s start out by giving a very short history of Batgirl and why there is, in fact, a situation.

This is Betty Kane, AKA Bat-Girl.
She was introduced in Batman #139 in 1961. She’s the niece of Kathy Kane AKA Batwoman. Batwoman and Bat-Girl were both introduced solely as romantic interests for Batman and Robin, respectively, to disprove the rumors and allegations of Batman and Robin being butt buddies. Sadly, both of the ladies were pretty lame… They didn’t do much crime fighting, they disappeared for years at a time, and then eventually both of them were somehow retconned to be forgotten from the DC universe FOR-EV-ER. Or so DC hoped.

This is Barbara Gordon as Batgirl.

Batgirl was introduced during 1967 in Detective Comics #359 which was titled “The Million Dollar Debut of Batgirl.” See this picture:

Corny? Hell yes. You love it. I love it. Everyone loved it when it came out. Batgirl was also introduced in the third season of the Batman television series, just after the character was introduced in the comics. So why did everyone love Babs? The easiest way to sum it up is a quote directly from DC:

I’d like to say a few words about the reaction some readers have to Batgirl. These are readers who remember Batwoman and the other Bat-girls from years back… They were there because romance seemed to be needed in Batman’s life. But thanks to the big change and a foresighted editor, these hapless females are gone for good. In their place stands a girl who is a capable crime-fighter, a far cry from Batwoman who constantly had to be rescued from Batman.

Batman and Robin fought bad dudes and crime in general because of the tragic deaths of their parents. Barbara Gordon, however, fought crime just for shiggles. She didn’t like crime, so she decided to suit up and do something about it. That’s pretty sweet, if you ask me. She was a strong, confident librarian who didn’t need a man’s help or rescue while kicking ass and taking names. It was a big change in comics.

I would also like to take this time to point out that Barbara Gordon is a redhead, which is a +5 in my book.

Then the shit hit the fucking fan.

In 1988, “Batman: The Killing Joke” hit the stands. Although it was a one-shot, it is now one of the most critically-acclaimed Batman/Joker stories of all time. The premise of the book is simple: Joker escapes Arkham Asylum and kidnaps Commissioner Gordon with the intent of driving him insane to prove that any civilian whose moral compass points due north can turn into a psychopath from just “one bad day.” It’s a psychological battle between Batman and Joker, with Joker trying to prove that he and Batman are both crazy because of terrible shit that happened in their lives.

In the story, Barbara opens the door one night only to find Joker, armed with a hand cannon, and his henchmen on the other side. Joker shoots her in the abdomen, and her dad only being able to witness the event as he’s sitting on the couch. Later, we learn that the bullet travelled into her spinal column, paralyzing her and keeping her confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life. To sum it up for you in 1st grader terms:

Barbara Gordon was brought back into comics shortly after to prove that she could live with her disability and remain a superhero, in more or less words. She is now Oracle, an information broker and computer whiz who helps the Bat Family in their efforts. She started the Birds of Prey and heads their operationzzzz. She also likes escrima, which makes sense since it has to do with sticks that you hold in your hands and beat the shit outta people with. But whatever. Let’s move on…

This is Helena Bertinelli as Batgirl.

For those of you wondering what the hell she’s holding, it’s her normal costume. Helena Bertinelli is actually the superhero known as Huntress. During the story arc “No Man’s Land” that hit stands in 1999, Batman temporarily abandons Gotham and Helena realized that the criminals needed fear put back into them. Not just any fear. The fear of the bat. But Batman was nowhere to be found. So she donned a pretty sweet costume and guess what? It worked. Unfortunately, the first time she went out some punks sprayed her face with red spray paint, so she stitched a face mask and made the eyeholes super small so that would no longer be a problem. See, in the story, gangs frequently sprayed buildings with their tag to show it was their territory, so it was pretty likely that it would happen again.

Batman finally came back to Gotham City, and told the mysterious Batgirl that he knew who she was (even though the reader didn’t even know yet, but you could deduce it pretty easily enough), and if she didn’t abide by the same codes he did, there would be hell to pay.

And Oracle? Well, when she saw someone running around like Batgirl, she was pretty fucking pissed off. She mouthed off to Batman who was like, “Chill bitch. I know what’s up, and she’s helping out.” And then Barbara was like, “Fuck no! SHE’S GOT MY LEGS!!!” And uh. Yeah. She was really, really displeased with the whole situation…

Eventually, Helena was a little crybaby and couldn’t take the criticism Batman was giving her (even though she was doing an okay job most of the time and he was just warning her), so she went back to being Huntress full-time. She eventually saved a bunch of people and almost died, so it was cool, I guess. NEXT.

This is Cassandra Cain as Batgirl.

Cassandra Cain was destined to be fucked up. She is the daughter of David Cain (one of the best assassins in the world, and former martial arts/how-to-kill-shit teacher to Bruce Wayne) and Lady Shiva (martial arts grandmaster and top-tier hired assassin). She was raised to become the world’s greatest assassin, and was deprived of human contact as well as speech. Yep. She’s pretty much a mute who punches your hand instead of shaking it to say hello. But she doesn’t mean anything by it. I promise. During No Man’s Land, she was Oracle’s best and most-trusted agent, gaining the redhead’s trust enough to eventually become her ward. When Cassandra went out of her way to save Commissioner Gordon’s life – and since Helena was being a little bitch – Oracle gave Cassandra her blessing to don the Batgirl costume and fight crime after gaining Batman’s approval. Helena stomped her feet, cried in the corner, and was denied snacktime by the teacher…

Batman receives a tape from David Cain of Cassandra killing a man when she’s eight years old, and is skeptical of Cassandra’s methods. But after witnessing her appreciation of human life and devotion to protect it by taking a few bullets in the chest, (there are those CRAZY bullets again!) Batman allows her to fight crime alongside him. She’s pretty adorable and endearing. Eventually, she learns a few words and phrases and uses them when interrogating suspects. She still can’t exactly “talk.” But it’s kinda cute :] DC even gave her a series all to herself – “Batgirl.” She was the first Batgirl to have her own series. Oh yeah and she killed her mom twice, and her mom has killed her like twice. Don’t ask. Just. Shhhh.

This is Charlotte Gage-Radcliffe as Batgirl… kinda.

Essentially, she made a shitty version of Barbara’s Batgirl costume that resembled it enough at night for a couple punks to say “Batgirl is back!” and have Oracle shitting a brick, making Huntress and Black Canary look for her. She was pretty good at martial arts, and even threw a batarang or two with some proficiency.

It was later revealed that this punk-ass kid is actually a meta-human, and has powers of teleportation, super-strength, and enhanced healing. SWEET! She kinda saves Huntress, and displays her knowledge of the Birds of Prey’s activities. So she teleports behind Oracle to have a chat with her. Which, you know, Oracle was totally cool with – NOT. However, she was impressed with Charlotte’s abilities enough to show her pictures of Stephanie Brown’s autopsy and discourage her from fighting crime (WHO’S STEPHANIE BROWN?! Shhhh – this will be explained later). So Charlotte agrees to stop being a super crappy-looking Batgirl. Instead, she changed her clothes a bit and became:

Misfit. Yeah, she looks like a fucking 14-year old douchebag, doesn’t she? Oh well. She’s all right.

The Birds of Prey becomes a sort of dysfunctional family for Charlotte, who lived in a slum in Metropolis with her single mother until a fire broke and and she teleported to escape – leaving her mother there to die. She doesn’t have the best fighting skills, but she can teleport great distances and she helps out Oracle when she’s not directly disobeying her orders and making Oracle feel like an asshole for accepting her into the team. Enough about her. She’s not really important. Ouch. I know. Whatevs.

This is Stephanie Brown as Batgirl.
Well, will be in like a month. She doesn’t actually have that costume yet. That picture is the cover for Batgirl (volume 2) #4. They previewed it in the editor’s section of Batgirl #2. Here’s the deal:

Stephanie Brown has been in the Bat Family for a while now. Her dad is The Cluemaster: a dude who isn’t much of a threat to Gotham, to be honest with you. She found out her dad wasn’t rehabilitating like he said he was, and was just fucking peoples’ shit up. So she makes a sweet costume and calls herself:

Ohhh no, beware the fuschia!!!! It strikes fear into the hearts of… men? I guess?

Spoiler. Get it? Ha! She leaves clues for Batman and the Gotham City Police to find him, and eventually people find out who she is. She wants to kill her dad, but Batman is himself and he’s like “Nah, it’s cool. Just let us arrest him.” And she’s like, “Yeah, okay I guess.” And chills the fuck out. So Stephanie puts away her costume. But every time her pops starts some shit, she’s right there with her costume again to cut his ass down. She realizes that she likes being a superhero. So guess what? She’s gonna start doin it FOR REAL. She starts patrolling, and eventually likes Robin. Cuz it’s Tim Drake. And apparently Robin attracts girls left and right. Too bad he can’t keep ‘em around. Anwyay. They get close and all that. But you know. With masks on. So Batman doesn’t get pissed.

While Robin is in Tibet for a while (secret mission ftw!), Batman finally says, “I’ll train you if you want. BTW, Robin? His name’s Tim Drake.” So she gets help from him, Cassandra, and the Birds of Prey. Eventually, Batman tells her she actually isn’t that great, and that she should pretty much stop being a crime fighter. Steph shrugs it off like a B- on a math test and keeps going out with Robin on patrols, as well as seeing him. Cuz it’s Tim. And he does that. When it comes to relationships with messed-up women, he pretty much thinks: Pussy? I’LL TAKE IT!

When her and Robin are in a battle, some dude breaks her leg. Tim gets pissed, and beats him to death (oops!). While he’s all mopey, his dad finds out he’s been prancing around at night fighting crime around this time. His dad puts his foot down, and he stops being Robin for a while. So with their relationship strained, and no Robin, Steph goes to Batman and tells him to train her. He reluctantly accepts, and puts her through hell for a couple months.

Then he fires her after a little while, cuz the dumb bitch doesn’t know the first rule about hangin out with The Dark Knight: ALWAYS DO WHAT BATMAN SAYS.

So she steals some plans from Batman, attempting to take down a hardcore criminal. She fails miserably, and is put in a hospital. Leslie Thompkins, Bruce Wayne/Batman’s super -cool doctor-friend-lady-thing, doesn’t try to help her and lets her die, explaining her actions to Bruce as a warning to any other stupid kids in Gotham who try to do what she did (pretty much).

So she died.

Turns out later we find out Leslie was lying. She faked her death and autopsy, and Stephanie ran off to some other country and was STILL BEING SPOILER (bitch can’t get enough! Can we say masochist??). She comes back, helps out some people, is a total douchebag to others, and yeah.

So now she’s graduated high school. She’s going to Gotham University, and lives with her mother. Bruce Wayne “dies” (please stay with me here…) and Cassandra is totally distraught. She gives Stephanie the Batgirl costume (grrrr!) and leaves. So what does Stephanie do? She starts being Batgirl, DUH! Dick finds out, tells Barbara, and Barbara starts being the biggest bitch EVER to Stephanie. She confronts her at home and says 3 totally fucked-up lines to try to convince her to stop:

“The last time you tried being helpful, you accidentally brought Gotham to its knees.”
“I used your ‘autopsy’ photos to stop the last girl who wanted to be Batgirl.”

And in another panel, she threatens that if she doesn’t stop “I’ll tell your mom.”

Holyfukk. That’s messed up, Babs! I understand she’s a dumb bitch, and Barbara has a permanent stick up her ass whenever someone starts being Batgirl – with good reason – but she doesn’t have to be THAT BITCHY. Ya know? Wow. What a new level of ornery you’ve reached, Barbara Gordon.

So now you know all the background story. More than you needed to. I don’t care. You’re welcome. Again, when Who Wants To Be A Millionaire calls, I will hear the X-Men theme song and answer my cell, letting you win moneyz. And split some with me.

So, in the words of Kim Possible, “what’s the sitch?”

We know why Bat-girl and Batwoman went away. They were lame and outdated. Pretty easy. Helena was already Huntress, so she just went back to that. Charlotte became Misfit, which suits her much better and allows her to grow into her own character rather than trying to fit into a mold she isn’t capable of filling. Cass needs some time alone to find herself, and hopefully she’ll come back and wear the bat again because she’s pretty awesome, and doesn’t like drama (much). Stephanie just wants to wear a fucking suit and prance around hitting people. But Barbara… why did she have to go away?

I know what you’re thinking. Liz, you just said she’s Oracle now! Well, yes, but why?? That’s the real question I need an answer to.

When Alan Moore wrote “The Killing Joke,” it was more of a what if? than anything else. He does that a lot. He likes to take characters you know and love, and show that they’re really fucked up. He doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s incredibly creative and out-of-the-box. But he wrote the story without thinking of continuity issues. I mean, he goes out of his way to show that you STILL don’t know the true origins of Joker in the story. But the real question we should be asking is WHEN HAS A GUNSHOT BEEN AN ISSUE, EVER, FOR PEOPLE IN BRUCE WAYNE’S LIFE??

I just told you that Cassandra Cain has been killed and resurrected a couple times. It’s a sick game her mom plays with her. Jesus Christ, I didn’t ever try to kill my mom! We played Bingo and shit! Stephanie Brown has been on her deathbed a fair number of times. Bruce Wayne, the obvious figurehead of the Bat Family, has money coming out of his fucking ears and spends a good chunk of it making sure that when he dies, he’ll come back – or that he just won’t die. He’s been paralyzed from the neck-down. He’s taken gunshots. He’s gone through absolutely terrible, horrendous things that are only possible in comic books and make-believe, and his resources provide a healthy umbrella of medical support to ensure he’s still the same man, just with a couple sexy scars to attract even more women into his Maserati the next night so that they can drive to a hotel he owns,take a stroll up to his helipad, and join the mile-high club.

So why is it that DC went completely against the rules on this one? Would Bruce turn the other cheek when Barbara is in need? No, obviously not. Is it an injury totally inconceivable to bounce back from? I think I already explained myself thoroughly in regards to that answer.

Here’s a quote from Ray Tate. He’s a reviewer at Comics Bulletin:

Let’s get this out of the way first. There is absolutely no reason why Barbara Gordon should be in a wheelchair. Alan Moore and Brian Bolland meant The Killing Joke as an imaginary tale dealing with the iconography of Batman and the Joker…[Batman] himself is a certifiable genius in biochemistry. There are countless examples of Batman employing that which is only theoretical in his fight against crime. His knowledge of stem cell technology should surpass that of the real world. There is simply no reason for Barbara Gordon to be confined to that wheelchair.

So what does he think about her being Oracle? Read on, friends:

It’s ridiculous to think somebody wakes up thinking how lucky they are to be confined to a wheelchair, and yet the attitude around DC and among the fans is that Oracle is the better character over Batgirl because of her handicap. Rubbish. Batgirl has fought more crime and done more to aid Batman as Batgirl than she has as Oracle. Batgirl has saved Batman’s life on numerous occasions. Oracle has not. Barbara in this incarnation is not a bad character, but she is not better because she no longer hunts the night in cape and cowl.

I completely agree, Ray. Oracle is a pretty badass character. She does amazing shit up there in Gotham Tower, all by herself. But she’s not doing more work as Oracle than she would’ve been doing as Batgirl.

But surely, he is just a simple reviewer! He cannot possibly give the opinions of someone who is in the heart of DC, writing those stories. All right. Anyone familiar with Alex Ross and Paul Dini?
In case you’re not, Alex Ross is one of the most famous and prolific artists of our time. His iconic depictions of everyone from Atom Man to Zatanna have inspired works in the DC universe, created new character costumes and profiles, and immortalized various story arcs from DC. He drew the entire Kingdom Come story, as well as Marvels from, well, Marvel.
Paul Dini is the mastermind behind Batman: The Animated Series. He and Bruce Timm have created so many things we now recognize as being essentials to the Batman universe. He’s currently in control of anything Batman at DC right now, which i am TOTALLY cool with. So, what do they have to say about this situation? Here’s a quote from Alex Ross, who is also known for pulling NO PUNCHES when it comes to his opinion:

Paul Dini had this idea of putting Barbara Gordon in the Lazarus Pit to revive her…I thought it was a great idea, and we pitched then-Batman editor Denny O’Neil with these drawings of that costume design. The idea of using the red instead of the traditional yellow was meant to invoke the idea that coming from the Lazarus Pit, she was in a way, more compromised as a character…And…that went nowhere. Denny shot it down, because, according to him, everybody loves Barbara Gordon as Oracle and as a handicapped character. The theory was that DC didn’t have enough handicapped characters, so they weren’t going to do anything with Barbara as she was. And the design went into the drawer.

DAMN YOU, DENNY O’NEIL!!! With respect to people in wheelchairs everywhere, that’s bullshit. He might has well have just said, “Well, we needed SOMEONE to be badass in a wheelchair, and she was in a wheelchair, so… yeah!” That’s bullshit from Earth-2, y’all. If I was in a wheelchair and gave a shit about how the minority I was a part of was represented, I’d be pretty pissed if it was a chick who is only doing it cuz she had no other choice. “Well you were totally badass, I guess you could still be… right? I know, I know, you wish you weren’t in a wheelchair, but come on!”

This isn’t the right way of doing thing, and DC knows it. Check out my favorite part from the Wiki article on Barbara:

DC Senior Vice President Dan DiDio comments, “Some stories… are so strong that undoing them would be a crime. The DCU would be a lesser place without [former Flash Barry Allen]‘s sacrifice, or the crippling of Barbara at the hands of the Joker.” (Though DiDio has undone Flash’s death but not Gordon’s paralysis.)

So he admits that some things, you just can’t change. But he changes them anyway. Only certain ones where DC is seen as being awesome to a certain minority, though, eh?

There’s some food for thought.

DC, you’re not Marvel. Stop doing this to your characters. Or, more importantly, listen to the fans and your writers. We say you should let her walk. Writers say you should let her walk. So let her walk. And I don’t mean like what you did in Batman: Blackest Night #2 where Deadman was temporarily possessing her body and letting her run around. That was a fucking tease, and you know it.

I would also like to take this opportunity to point out that Batgirl, Supergirl, and Wonder Girl are all white, blonde teenagers. Just an interesting note, especially when you consider how much Dan DiDio likes to show minorities and have “diversity” in his comic book characters. You kick ass, Dan!!!

I am this angry.

On a brighter note, I wonder if Babs would be cool with Stephanie Brown being Batgirl if she carried her around on her back, Luke & Yoda style? Heheh…